Hot Chocolate

The other day I found myself needing the reminder to laugh.  My youngest reminded me about our “hot chocolate moment”.  And that did it- I immediately started laughing, so I felt it was time to share with you.  Here it is…a year ago - the moment that has been forever etched in our minds.  Hot chocolate.  I hope it helps you remember to pause and appreciate the small things, because- that’s what life is about. 

Xo Connie

Letting Go

‘Tis the season, the tree is up, the lights are strung outside on the deck for all to see, and the exhilaration about gifts, giving, and holidays has the kids bouncing and bubbling and more than normal.  Sometimes excitement and anticipation come out with such intensity that it seems stressful and the calm, managed atmosphere that I love to be around has melted into the swirl of crazy.

It’s December 13th, 2021 and the kids are ready for rain.  At pickup, they get in the car with their own unloads from the day.  One has too much homework, one had a hard day with friends and wants hot chocolate and the other didn’t nap.  Phew. We are going to make it through the afternoon.  Instead of enjoying the moment, I’m already in this mode of anticipating what’s to come and how I can manage and do things to help things flow. Instead of allowing it to flow, I was trying to make it flow.  

Some bickering, stress about impending homework and the crankiness that comes with sleep deprivation, we stumbled through the afternoon and then at about 5:30 the incredible gift of rain arrived.  Since rain is a rarity for us it brings jubilation to my kids.  Rain jackets on, boots- check,  Outside in the dark for a rain adventure.  The kids laugh, play, get soaked, flashlight-rain-hide-and-go seek, yes! Why not? Embracing the fun.  (Or at least trying!)

Meanwhile I’m trying to navigate the fridge and create dinner out of the leftover pickings. I didn’t make it to the store today and wasn’t organized enough to place my usual instacart order.  So, here I am- dinner time- trying to get creative with what we have.  My husband calls it “Connie’s Creative Dinner”, when I pull out everything that might work for the meal and display it on the counter. Often I don’t end up using most of the items, but I am a visual person, so it gets me thinking and then I magically pull something together.  Tonight I decided that the kids needed a well balanced meal, (feeling guilty about all the gingerbread cookies they ate earlier), so I opted for a veggie bake with the farm veggies and some gigante beans, grilled chicken, and pasta with sauce.  I don’t know WHAT I was thinking. My husband was working late, the energy was already bursting through the roof and my kids were bouncing all over the place.  Nuts. Yes- perfect time for a multiple dish/ bbq dinner.  If only I had those amazing super powers to snap my fingers or wave a wand to make it all appear beautifully on the dinner table.  Instead it was a full kitchen explosion.  Veggie peels, boiling water, chicken burning on the bbq….kids singing in the rain- can you picture the excitement and chaos?

Rain.  Yes!

My daughter had been sparkling about drinking hot chocolate since she got in the car after school.  I knew the only way to get them into the house, out of the rain, was to lure them in with something hot and chocolaty, so to add to the preparation list I also pulled out the hot chocolate packets and heated up some water.  Doesn’t sound hard, but when the other stuff is also in the mix, it is easy to get lost among the piles.

Fire on in the living room, carols playing in the background, kids dripping wet, hot chocolate ready- they all stumbled back into the house, singing “Hot Hot, Oooh we got it! Hot Hot Yeah we got! Hot Hot ooooh we got it!…HOT CHOC…O..LATE!”  If you haven’t heard the tune, they can sing it for you. It’s one of those tunes that gets stuck in your head for days.  

My oldest got his hot chocolate in a YETI rambler but we couldn’t find the lid, so I told him to hang on tight.  All were going to sip and sit in front of the fire.  I figured that with them entertained with sweet chocolate, I’d have just enough time to pull out the pasta (almost ready now) and get the chicken flipped, veggies still doing their thing in the oven.  Phew. Deep breath.  Never mind all the stuff thrown about or the lunch boxes and bags that still needed to be unpacked.  If you’ve ever been in my house, you’ll know that I like to keep things pretty organized. Mostly to help avoid distractions - I get it, alphabots are WAY more exciting than brushing teeth! If you walked into the house at this moment, you’d have to get down on your hands and knees and create a path to walk through the creative projects that were innovated throughout the afternoon because I’ll be honest, I was in survival mode. The excitement of rain had surpassed all other “normal” steps to the evening.

All three kiddos had their hot chocolate.  A moment of bliss.  Yes, I’ve got this. No problem! See…back on track.  Enjoying the “feels” of the holidays.

My three year old bounced into the kitchen, eyes lit up, hair flying through the air, asking for a straw. It’s easier for him to drink with a straw, less messy.  He’s particular when it comes to any kind of sticky, spilly stuff.  So, I hand him a straw and off he dances, excitedly, to his hot chocolate.  

Not a second later I hear my oldest screaming at the top of his lungs “MOM!! MOM!!! MOM!!!! COME QUICK!! MOM! Mom! Mom!”  Oh my goodness! My heart goes into a total panic. My youngest is screaming too. Daughter also.  But, my oldest has a scream that sounds like there is some kind of life threatening emergency. My first thought. Oh no! The fire!  Did someone fall in?  Is someone burned? I shouldn’t have left it on. It’s amazing how fast your brain can go into full emergency mode. I race into the living room. 

Hot chocolate. 

It’s everywhere.  I mean EVERYWHERE.  

“Holy $$$$!”  

Yes, it came out of my mouth.  I imagine it would have come out of yours too had you seen the disaster.  Somehow the hot chocolate managed to rain on the entire living room rug, reach the couch, the poofs, and the NEW lounge chairs, dripping from the wooden sofa sides and all down the coffee table.  

And then I look at youngest.  He’s crying hysterically while his big brother is still screaming about the mess.  He has hot chocolate dripping down his hair, all over his face.  It’s like he’s been showered with the stuff.  The poor guy is almost hyperventilating.  What a disaster.  

I scoop him up.  Take a breath. Hold him close. I’m not laughing, yet. I’m in a panic.  My oldest is still in hysterics. Probably thinking he’s never going to get hot chocolate again after how it’s covering the couch. He’s so concerned about our living room.  Bless his sweetheart. Not his fault. No one's fault. This happens. Total Mess. I try to reassure him that everything will be okay. Not to worry.  In my head I’m thinking YIKES! We just finally got furniture in the living room, been waiting for months to get it and now it’s covered. What do I tell my husband? Oh geez. Got this “mom thing” totally under control. Yup. It’s a cakewalk.

My daughter and I go to the bathroom with my youngest.  We take a moment to clean off the hot chocolate. Try to laugh at the hot chocolate party that we are having! Yikes.  We still hear big brother screaming from the living room all about the couch.  Everyone is having BIG emotions.  That’s normal.  Let it out.  Ok. Deep breath.  It’s ok. It’s all good.  No one is in the fire. No one is burned. It’s just hot chocolate. Everywhere, but no big deal.  I’m reassuring everyone. It will come out. No big deal. Just glad we are all okay.

My youngest is still sobbing, but my daughter and I are trying to alleviate the stress and spin it into a funny situation. We clean him up. Don’t remember if we got him in the shower. Details are a blur.  But, we did manage to get him to stop crying hysterically, he’s now a few decibels quieter.

Oh no! The pasta!  I forgot the chicken!  Quickly run into the kitchen, drain the pasta, flip the chicken, veggies done.   I throw the food on the table and try to get everyone into the kitchen to eat. Yeah right.  Number 3 is not in a head space to sit down- he hardly sits as it is!  Who am I kidding, my heart is still pounding out of my chest.  So, he starts wandering around, crying, and watching as I try to take a damp cloth and have it do magic with the spill.  

Thankfully it works.  The couch and lounge seats have incredible fabric that wipes clean and the stain on the rug- well…carpet cleaner did NOT work there.  I tried twice. White and hot chocolate, well, let’s just say it’s not the best combination. So, it’s flipped, if you want to see the stain, it’s on the other side.  Someday we'll replace it.  I never really liked that rug anyways.  

Accidents happen.  To everyone.  And letting go of the perceived outcome of how things should go or what it needs to be is essential.  This time of year can be so hectic, and expectations of where to be and what to be can cause us to lose sight of what is present right now.  I’ve been having a hard time letting go lately. I’ve been holding on. Tightly. Trying to make it happen instead of allowing the flow and trusting it will be okay.  I’ve been really hard on myself. Just in this hot chocolate emotion I’ve judged myself multiple times.  I’m not a good mother, not doing enough, not providing enough, blah, blah, blah.  Still holding on to some hurt and pain and creating more emotional heaviness than I want or truly am.  Where is my glow? Where is my spark?  How can one of the most exciting times of year squash that real enJOYment? Ug. 

I have what I’ve always wanted. A beautiful family who enjoys each other.  We look out for each other and are supportive and loving.  We can laugh and cry together.  We can have big emotions and be here to support. It can be beautiful chaos!  And I’m so grateful for it.

We are not perfect. No one is.  

Let go. Trust.  Allow others to be themselves.  Yes.  

“You do you” is the reminder I give my kids daily.  That’s the short version of the long that reminds them to be true to who they are, to do their thing, what makes them feel good.  Not to let the expectations of others get them down, not take on other people's energies, let the stress go.  Enjoy everyday, live with kindness and love. 

Sometimes easier said than done. But, isn’t it a nice reminder - to be yourself and that it’s okay to let things go?  No expectation of perfection.

It’s okay to feel big stuff and then let it go. Breath in. Breath out.  Release the stuff that’s muck.

To be in the flow is to allow.  Let the resistance go.  Let the judgments go.  Release the worry, the fear, the expectations and JUST BE.  Enjoy what is and be grateful for the moments as they come, not trying to craft or create them to be different, just let them be.

So, there it is.  Hot chocolate.  

Let it go.

Let it be.

I hear you. Thanks for the reminder.

If I need another, I’ll flip over the rug so we can see the stain.  Until then we can all laugh hysterically about the hot chocolate explosion.

After all, it’s these memorable moments that will be forever etched in our mind.