An Inclusive Self-Regulation Concept: Zoey and Her Amazing Energy Bubble! with Michaela Gordon
Coach Michaela joins Spark to Empower to share insights for self-regulation and talk about her book, Zoey and Her Amazing Energy Bubble.
Have a child with bursting energy? Are you an educator who has students with diverse needs? Would you like to understand others better? This episode is for you! Learn how Michaela Gordon, Occupational Therapist, supports individuals to achieve their highest potential in life.
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Michaela has her Master of Science in Occupational Therapy, Bachelor of Science in Rehabilitation, and specializes in supporting clients with tools and strategies for Sensory Integration, sensory regulation, behavioral management, neurodevelopmental techniques, social emotional, oral motor, myofascial release, cranial sacral therapy, and executive functioning.
She has extensive experience supporting individuals, in hospitals and clinics and currently owns her own full-time occupational therapy practice in the Santa Barbara County in California.
Michaela is often a presenter at educational summits and staff developments in which she shares strategies for best supporting students.
About the Guest
Michaela Gordon
Occupational Therapist
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Connie Maday (00:12):
Welcome to the Spark to Empower podcast. Today, the special guest joining me is someone who supports the development of our youth and guides parents and educators to best practices for child development. We are all unique, and with that comes various ways which we think, learn, and move about the world. Michaela Gordon is an occupational therapist, which I tend to see as a supportive coach, someone you want in your corner as an educator to help show you how to create the best learning environment for your students as a parent, someone who can be your sounding board, your guide to help you support your child's goals. And as a child, Michaela is the coach. You want to build the tools you need to reach your highest potential in life. Michaela has a Master's of Science and Occupational Therapy, a bachelor's in rehabilitation, and specializes in supporting clients with tools and strategies for sensory integration, sensory regulation, behavioral management, neurodevelopmental techniques, executive functioning, to name a few.
(01:17):
She has extensive experience supporting individuals in hospitals and clinics, and currently owns her own full-time occupational therapy practice in Santa Barbara County. Michaela is often a presenter at educational summits and staff developments in which she shares strategies for best supporting students. Her most recent project is publishing her book Zoe and her Amazing Energy Bubble, which is written to help children understand how their thoughts, emotions, and felt sensations cause their energy levels to change. This book is a tool for educators as well as families to help better understand self-regulation, emotional regulation, and sensory regulation. So excited to share this conversation with you. Enjoy the show.
(02:10):
Welcome, Michaela. I'm so excited to have you here today and thanks for joining me. We've shared so many conversations over the years. Yes. And I really, really appreciate how you've always pushed me to expand my thinking, and I'm just excited to share with the audience today all that you have to offer and exciting things that are coming up. So really, really excited. So we're going to start. I've shared you are an occupational therapist and we're going to talk about what is occupational therapy. I like to think of you as a family coach, someone who supports children, who supports parents, educators with tools to help achieve optimal functioning. And if you look at what that means, I'm reading off your, it's a type of therapy that promotes children's skills of daily lives or daily living with a goal to improve their level of independence and their quality of life.
(03:10):
Wow. Quality of life. And you say that occupational therapists look at the whole child, the spirit, their spirit, their mind, their body, and how they can best interact within their daily environments. So you're helping children develop skills in the areas of sensory development, motor development, social emotional development, cognitive development, and self-care development. Wow, that's a lot. That's a lot. And that's just a short little snippet of an overview, but is there anything else that you could add? What else could you say about occupational therapy in a short sentence?
(03:51):
Michaela
(03:51):
Well, I think OTs really think outside of the box. That's what we're known for. We're real problem solvers. So because we're trying to promote someone's everyday living, we really need to find out what they do. What do you do every day? So that's within your community and parents, your home at school. So there's a lot of places that you function and do things.
(04:14):
So it's our job to find out what's meaningful and purposeful to the child and their family and work on building those skills. So it has to be meaningful to them. So yes, we know a lot of things in different areas and then depending on the OT that you are, you can actually decide, Hey, I really like working on social skills, or I like working on sensory skills. So we're all a little bit different in that way, but our scope of practice is really wide, so we are kind of like coaches. We can actually fill a lot of needs all in one in one shot.
(04:49):
Pretty incredible work that you do. Really amazing. Thank you. Michaela, will you tell us a little bit about your background? How did you get into occupational therapy? It sounds like it's been really a life journey for you, your experience over the years, the credentials, it's all very extensive and you continue to expand your knowledge and your expertise.
(05:13):
Can you tell us about your, why did you choose this profession and what led you to the incredible work that you do?
(05:21):
Well, it is at this point, because I've been a therapist for over 20 years, this is a long windy road, but essentially when I was little, I really struggled with learning. I started school early. I was in kindergarten when I was four, but I just couldn't really catch up. So by the time I was in third grade, I went into special education and got those services. And it took a really long time for me to figure out that I had this processing disorder and that it didn't actually mean that I wasn't intelligent, it just meant I learned differently. And so once I actually found out how I learned through going to college, you take every single class like philosophy to computer programming to personal development, I think I just realized that there's lots of different ways to learn.
(06:11):
And I figured out the way that I learned, and once I knew I actually could be a learner, I just want to always learn so much. And so I originally wanted to be a physical therapist because that's what I was exposed to. I worked with a child with cerebral palsy and he used to get physical therapy all the time. So I was like, I want to be a physical therapist. And then I was working in a chiropractic office and the chiropractor's girlfriend was a hand occupational therapist. So I went to observe her and I said, well, I really want to work with the whole body. She goes, well, that is what OT is. We actually work with the whole person, the spirit, their mind, their body. Once I found out there was a real psychological and emotional component to it, that's kind of what led me down that road.
(06:58):
And I really committed to it. I got into an advanced placement program, so I started studying OT when I was a senior in college and graduated by the time I was 21. And when I got out, one of my goals was that I could help anyone that came to me. I felt like, well, if it's all about your daily living, then I should be able to contribute something to you. So I had a lot of different jobs when I got out from hospitals to nursing homes to aquatics schools systems. And so it really led me to want to go into my own practice because I love looking at theoretical systems and finding what really matters to my clients and making sure that they're getting what they need in an effective way. You should leave therapy and something should have been beneficial for you. So that's my why and why I became an OT and why I went into private practice.
Connie Maday (07:59):
That's amazing. I remember this story that you tell too about the time at spring at your college and your undergraduate studies where you had to do an IQ test for part of your, and how that process of going through that really kind of opened your eyes up to realizing, wow, I'm really intelligent. I just need to learn how I learn that, understand how I learn things, and how that really shifted your thinking around helping yourself really tap into who you are. And then now also with the work with your clients. Because essentially the work that you do every day is you are really supporting each individual, helping them understand how they learn, how they operate in the world, what they need for themselves to be really successful. I think that story is so remarkable.
Michaela Gordon (08:52):
Isn't that so really, I mean to me, amazing that no one ever once said to me like, Hey, you need these special services, but you're actually really bright.
(09:03):
No one thought to tell me that. So when I got the IQ test, I really was taken aback. I remember the student that did the test. She's like, you could be whatever you want, doctor, lawyer. And I was like, are you kidding me? And because actually my undergrad studies was rehab and disability studies, and so we had to do a lot of self-reflection and personal growth and a lot of psych based studies. And so I was always fascinated by one of our teachers got us onto different types of intelligences. So I just thought there was mass smarts and reading smarts. I had no idea there were like you have emotional intelligence and kinesthetic intelligence. And so for me, I just love when I have my kids come in, I love to help them identify the intelligence that I'm seeing in them. Like, oh man, I swear I'm going to see you one day on stage.
(09:59):
You are hysterical. Or Wow, you can climb that like an American ninja. You are so talented with your body, or I'm going to see you when circus de sole or you are going to be an amazing teacher. You really know how to explain things to people. So I think we all have that inside of us. And I don't think school should water us down to just if we can learn in a particular way and only have these markers so much more than that. And I think that our system is starting to see that it's really important that we embrace everybody's abilities and that we actually encourage people to learn all the basics. We don't have to know everything. I don't need to be a Wall Street investor to feel like I have an understanding of my finances. It's important to know some fundamentals, but that does not mean we stop there as humans.
(11:00):
We need builders. We need people that know how to do computers and people that know how to make us laugh and sing and dance, it just goes on. So I'm just happy that I didn't give up on school because I probably should have at that point. So for me, it really was just that one moment of, oh my gosh, I have intelligence really shifted the way that I thought about myself.
Connie Maday (11:26):
Well, and I think it's interesting too, if you think about all the research now about the brain and the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and how much that impacts the outcomes. So there's so much there. And that seemed to be that pivotal moment where you changed your mindset about your own belief system, about who you were. And what I think is so incredible is how you're helping your clients build their own self belief system every day.
(11:51):
And there's so much power in that. So we could go down the brain path, but I'm going to keep us on track and I want to hear a little bit about neurodiversity. It's become such a term that people are starting to talk about and understand. Can you tell us a little bit about what neurodiversity means and how that connects to your work?
Michaela Gordon (12:14):
So I think when we hear the word neurodiversity, which has obviously become a very popular word, it's really just that we all think differently. We're not all the same. And so just because someone doesn't learn some way doesn't mean they're not capable of learning that concept. They just might need to feel it. They might need to see it, they might need to hear it. They might need all of those inputs together. But as an occupational therapist with expertise in sensory processing, I always look at how your nervous system metabolizes things.
(12:47):
So some of us need to move to learn, some of us need to go through experiences to learn, and that's okay. And I think Albert Einstein had said something like, you can't test a fish it's ability by having to climb a tree. So I do feel bad for some of the kids where they have these different types of intelligences and they're not in those specific academic arenas because I have some kids where they are super crafty, great problem solvers, and they really struggle to read or they struggle to write. But I'll tell you what, if I'm stuck with them in the forest and I cannot find my way, you bet I'm going to ask that kid and say, okay, how are we going to get out of here because we're going to have some problems because I don't know how to get out, but I know that kid knows.
(13:37):
So I think too, it's really important. You really want to foster what kids are good at. And I feel like my mother did that with me. She really thought I was good with kids, and I think encouraged that in me and was like, no, you're going to work with kids. Even though I didn't have a clue about what it was, people see good things in you, and you should encourage those things. If you have kids that they really don't know what they want to do or you can't find that thing, well, you don't stop. You keep trying to find those experiences for them, whether it's at school or out of school, because everyone has something that is meaningful to them. I really believe that. So that's what I think neurodiversity is seeking that out and accepting who you are, but also realizing that we live together and we function together.
(14:28):
And it is important that we do things that are hard for us too. But it shouldn't be just one way. It should be a variety of experiences.
Connie Maday (14:37):
Absolutely. And I think that has me thinking and moving into the direction of our next question, which is really about compassion and what everybody should know about being more inclusive, accepting open to be more compassionate. What are your thoughts there? What should everyone know about finding more compassion about being more compassionate as a human for one another?
Michaela Gordon (15:04):
Well, you know what I was listening to, I happen to love Brene Brown. I just love all her work on shame.
Connie Maday (15:11):
She's amazing.
Michaela Gordon (15:12):
She is amazing.
Connie Maday (15:14):
Love her. Brene, we love you.
Michaela Gordon (15:16):
You're out there. We love you.
(15:19):
But she did this study and she was shocked. She wanted to look at the most compassionate people on earth, and I don't know exactly who she did the study with to find their data, but she actually said, the most compassionate people have exceptional boundaries. So I think where the struggle is every passing decade, we go through different things that we're all learning. And I think what's happening is that now we're really advocating for our individual needs. And for some reason there's this polarization going on because anytime we want to change something, there's going to be this effect going, I don't want to change. So for me, what compassion is, is that I have an understanding that I have needs and wants, and you have needs and wants. And sometimes they might not be those same things. And so it's our ability to be able to look at both of those.
(16:20):
And sometimes you're not going to have all your needs and wants met, and same for the other person. And we have to work collectively. And usually, let's say for instance, I'm with a family that's Spanish speaking and they don't speak any English, and I speak Spanish and English, I am going to speak Spanish. It might not be the best Spanish, but I'm going to speak Spanish because that's what's going to help me connect with that person. So when we talk about, and you stop me if I'm going down a hole, but
Connie Maday (16:57):
no, you're doing great
Michaela Gordon (16:59):
with, when we talk about inclusion, and I hear the word accommodation. Accommodation is, well, you are here, so I'm going to squeeze you into our box. I'll do this for you. But inclusion is actually recognizing that this other child would need that needs this accommodation. There are probably a handful of other kids and maybe even the teacher in that class that have those same needs as well.
(17:25):
And so when we teach things in isolation and we don't teach it to everybody else, that's not really inclusion. And that's where compassion is. Compassion is connecting and saying, we might be very different, but we have a lot in common and not just ousting someone because we don't think they have something in common with us, but that we actually can find commonality and work together. And sometimes that can happen, but the world is not perfect. But I think we should lean into that.
Connie Maday (17:58):
Absolutely. And I know that you've been really working on helping find the common language to help that communication, and your book is a big part of that, which we're going to talk about in a little bit. But I think that's really, really important for us to think about. There's so much to learn and it's helpful to recognize our own patterns.
(18:20):
It's helpful to think about what works well for us as individuals. Can you help our listeners identify if you were to offer some suggestions as a learner, what can I pay attention to? Help me think about what kind of learner I am or what works for me. What are some things that you look at?
Michaela Gordon (18:45):
Well, I think that you need to see and try different other people's methods of how they're learning. For instance, some people will put me on digital calendars and I'm like, great. And then I'm like, wait, I need the paper calendar and then I need the paper calendar with all the colors because I'm kinesthetic and I need to move it around. I want to have to problem solve and investigate. So I think there's a lot of things that we can use as learners that are available that are very easy to do, right?
(19:18):
If you want to do it on the computer, then do it on computer. It's a system that works for you. So when we look at systems, we look at them in what do you need to accomplish the task? Some people need pictures, some people need reminders. Some people need to do it over and over again. Some people need to talk things through. I mean, I think that's what we look at when we look at school placement. People are like, I love this school and I want my kid to go to this school. And it's like, right. And does your child learn that way? Does that work for them? And so I think it's what makes education really complicated is that as we are learning that we're all multimodal learners, it can be really complicated to teach everybody the same exact thing in the same exact way.
(20:07):
But I think what we can do, if you look at a program like Handwriting Without Tears, which I love, they really use a multisensory approach. When you're little, you can roll out your letters, you could do Chuck, you could do wood sticks. So there's different ways that we can actually add in different experiences. And then I think as you get older, for me, I was telling you I was in special education, but no one actually told me how I learned. It wasn't until I went to boarding school, the headmaster was like, why are you highlighting your whole book? And I said, because everything is important. He was like, all right. He looked at my flashcards. It was just every detail mattered to me. I didn't know how to summarize, so someone just happened to come along to teach me a system. So I think it's important, whatever way we learn, we learn our own system, and that could be visual, auditory, touch, movement.
(21:07):
There's different ways to learn, and you have to find out what works for you. And if you're a child, you need an adult to help you with that. And then that system works for you, and then you keep working through that system because that's how you're going to be successful, and you don't have to do it the way that I do it. And we don't want people all doing the same thing all the time. Sometimes that's helpful. Like I said, I think we need to know sprinkles of things, and then you stick with what works for you.
Connie Maday (21:36):
Absolutely.
Michaela Gordon (21:36):
That's my opinion.
Connie Maday (21:37):
I think it's great. I mean, even just reflecting as you were talking, I was thinking about, oh yeah, I need to write it down too, but I also need to have it on my calendar in my phone, and then when it's the week, I have to highlight it in colors.
(21:51):
I was having a moment and then recognizing, thinking about walking into a space, what do I pay attention to versus what my husband notices about a space. We're very different people and he'll pay attention to, oh, the ceiling and the lights and the bricks. I'm like, oh, this feels like a really comfortable place. We're all unique and different, and I think as we move into the world and we really want to become our best selves, and I think acknowledging what we need for ourselves to feel optimal, I think that's really important. And we can model that for our children. Educators can model that for their students. And I think from the lens of the educator, if someone can really recognize that in the classroom, you're going to have a variety of learners that all have different needs. And yes, that's a huge task, but if you can approach it with compassion and you can approach it with this awareness, then you'll have much more success to making those lasting connections with the students that allows them to feel comfortable to articulate and develop their understanding of their needs.
(22:57):
It's like it all comes together.
Michaela Gordon (22:59):
And here's the caveat, right, too, which I always think is really interesting. For instance, when I was writing this book, I had no intention on writing a book. I did not know this was going to happen.
Connie Maday (23:10):
I remember
Michaela Gordon (23:11):
and how infuriating the process was because it was so hard. I'd never done it. I did not have the skill, and I needed a lot of help and a lot of studying. It just was really hard for me, especially as a therapist. Not that it's easy for me, but I've done it so many times that I've really been able to get real nuanced in how I do things, and that feels really good. So to start all over again with this new process was kind of terrifying. So I also think that we to push ourselves in sometimes things that we don't think we're going to be good at or that are going to be hard, we can't associate that we're not good at that or that we won't be good at that.
Connie Maday (23:57):
Absolutely.
Michaela Gordon (23:59):
And I think that goes along even with the whole your needs. My needs is sometimes we can't do it the other person's way. Maybe it's a physical thing or we don't have those skills yet, but it's really important to practice that. So we want to have practice in doing different things and trying new things and pushing ourselves well as well, because that's part of integrating ourselves as people. So it's not just about I feel good and we're just going to do this. Yeah, this feels hard. And do I have the support? And as a child, it's really hard to discern if you should keep going or give something up. So as adults, we want to be observant of our students and our kids about what? I'm going to push you on that because I think this is really important for you to have. But I'm going to meet you in the middle on this other thing over here.
(24:49):
And it's complicated, right?
Connie Maday (24:51):
It's so complicated. Complicated. But you're absolutely right. If you think about looking at the research and how we move through that fear and vulnerability to get to the stage of growth and learning new things, it's all connected. We do have to be able to push ourselves. And as an educator, you're navigating that fine line of when am I going to push this student forward, and when am I going to acknowledge? And so as a parent too, I mean we all have to, I guess what I am reminded as we're talking, we need to have compassion for ourselves.
Michaela Gordon (25:24):
Yes, compassion for ourselves.
Connie Maday (25:25):
We need to have compassion for ourselves and what we're doing and recognize that this is complex.
Michaela Gordon (25:33):
It is complex, and we need our cheerleaders that are like, you could do it. And life is just not a straight line.
(25:41):
It's not. But again, we need to be compassionate. We need to have that for ourselves and for others. And that's having good boundaries. It's having healthy conversations. It's having a healthy amount of stress and balance, and what are we exposing our kids to and what's helpful to them? What's going to be helpful to their future? What do they need to continue to have good quality lives when we're long gone? We want them to have what they need for good, healthy, safe lives. So I think it's complex.
Connie Maday (26:16):
It's so complex and so important. And that gets me to my next thing. I always love to find out what inspiring people do to show up as their best selves. And I know that you are really good at setting boundaries and making sure to hold yourself accountable for what you set out for yourself. So will you tell us what are your top three strategies for showing up every day?
Michaela Gordon (26:38):
Every day I practice gratitude. I even think in the worst situations, there's something good. There's always something good, and that gives me hope. You have to have hope to keep going every day. The other thing is, and I teach this to my kids, is what I know and what I don't know. So I don't know if you've ever seen a kid get really disappointed when they've lost a game or they didn't get first in line, or their friend was out sick and it ruined their recess.
Connie Maday (27:07):
Of course, of course.
Michaela Gordon (27:09):
Yeah. So I always teach 'em, because I find myself stuck in that too. Like, oh, how dare there be traffic? I had somewhere to go, where are you people coming from? He's like, reality. So I like the what do I know? What do I not know? I know I'm going to work, but what do I not know?
(27:26):
I don't know if there's going to be traffic. I don't know if someone's car is going to break down or I don't know if the exit's going to be closed. So when we can have an idea of where we want to go and set ourselves goals and make ourselves a plan, we have to be flexible and we have to be able to pivot. And I feel like that's really important in building your character. And again, back to compassion and understanding other people's needs. So I'd really try to practice that every day. And I also, lastly, just try to be myself. I think I used to try to be who everyone wanted me to be, and then I realized, wow, I just can't get around who I am, so take me or leave me baby here I am. So I just think you have to show up and you have to be who you are and who you are is just fine.
Connie Maday (28:17):
Oh, yeah, it really is.
Michaela Gordon (28:18):
It's great who you are.
Connie Maday (28:19):
That's so important. I couldn't agree more. Wow. Really. I mean, yeah. So gratitude and then that idea, I mean, what you were talking about with your What do I know and what do I not know that practice, I mean, that connects to the mindset piece too, right? You're helping them kind of wrap their head around having a mindset of being a little bit more in awareness and flowing and flexible too, because that's really a part of living life. You never know.
Michaela Gordon (28:49):
You never know. And just when you think it's over, you're like, oh, come on. The come in three. You're like, is that really true? I hope not.
Connie Maday (28:57):
I know. See, there's so many things you don't want to believe everything that's out there. You got to be in charge of what your beliefs are.
Michaela Gordon (29:03):
That's right. Self thinking. Think for yourself, think for yourself, think for yourself. Be yourself. Be who you are.
Connie Maday (29:09):
We've got some big messages here today.
Michaela Gordon (29:11):
Yeah. Listen to us. We know.
Connie Maday (29:13):
Yes. And your book, Zoe and Her Amazing Energy Bubble. I'm going to say that again. Zoe and her Amazing Energy Bubble was really written to help children understand how their thoughts, emotions, and felt sensations caused their energy levels to change. Yes. Now, can you tell us a little bit about the context? We've been talking a lot about your background and your passions, but how does this really capture your why? Let me rephrase that. What is your why for writing this book, and what do you hope that this book provides the world? Really?
Michaela Gordon (29:53):
I wrote this book for someone. So there was a little girl I was working with, and she just adored her friend, and she wanted to just have her, she just loved her so much like a precious teddy bear.
(30:09):
And it wasn't that her other friend didn't want to be friends with her. She did like her, and she was in such conflict because it was more that the little girl's energy was just so big. So I try to explain to her, because I had just actually been studying and all the research which they have over there at the HeartMath Institute, and that we have an electromagnetic field, and it actually travels away from our body. And inside that electromagnetic field are emotions. They're embedded inside the field so people can literally feel us. So imagine when we're all together, that's like a lot of emotions all mixing together, and some people have really intense energy, or we can all get into those intense energy states. So I was suggesting to the little girl that if she could just make her energy a little bit smaller, then her friend would feel like she had room, and then she'd probably be more open to playing with her more often.
(31:05):
So I thought, well, this has to be out there. There's got to be a book out there like that. And I couldn't find one. So I decided I was going to write her up a little story, and she liked it. So I started reading it to other people and they were like, I like this book. And some parents were like, you should publish this book. And I was like, let's publish this book. And then I happened to write the book, and I kept going with the concept and refining it, and now it is what it is today. So it really came because a client needed it, and hopefully it helped.
Connie Maday (31:38):
And I mean, if you think about it, in my experience as an educator, I can think of many, many, many clients, many, many students who would benefit from this. And as a tool in the classroom, as a tool, as a parent to help really understand sensory regulation, emotional regulation, really in a more concrete way.
(32:01):
It is easy to navigate with this visual and the concept around it. You do a really amazing job of explaining that. So thank you. Yeah, I'm excited. So Zoe and her Amazing Energy Bubble is available, and you can check it out. Michaela, anything else that you find incredibly important and you want to talk about today? I know you had mentioned something about really the community and how this is another thing that I love about your practice. It's not just about you helping support, it's about the community supporting the client or the child, and that we're all in it together. So will you talk a little bit about that part or anything else that you want to talk about?
Michaela Gordon (32:53):
Yeah, and we talked about the inclusion piece, and that's always been really important to me. I think someone as a person, as a little person that was pulled from class and be, where are you going?
(33:02):
And oh gosh. And feeling really different. I just don't think we always need that. I think there's ways of including what's the big deal to give couple people some fidgets or a different type of cushion or a slam board or headphones. It really, I'm sure some other people will want those things. So I thought by explaining this as little girl, it really got me thinking. I had written it for her, but then I realized, well, wait a second. If we all have electromagnetic fields around us and we're all feeling what we're feeling, and I just teach this to this girl, but what if her friend doesn't know this? And a lot of times it's just like what I was saying before, how kids think they're going to go to school and their friend's going to be there, and that life is just going to go in this one big line.
(33:55):
But I thought this would be really helpful for kids to understand that their energy isn't contained inside themselves, just like their thoughts. Sometimes they think their thoughts are inside and you're like, yeah, you did not, you said that out loud, buddy. You whisper, right? I can hear you. I can hear you. So it's important for kids to actually physiologically understand what's happening with them. What you are feeling goes outside of you. It doesn't stay inside the lines of your body. It expands out. So I just really want kids to understand how their bodies operate and understand why some people might act the way they do. And I also wanted to take the stigma out of like, oh man, having a high energy is really bad. No high energy happens because sometimes there's an accident, sometimes there's a disaster that's happened. Or sometimes we just lose control of ourselves.
(34:49):
And I also don't want kids to feel alone. And I want adults to have the tools of when you have energy that big as the adult, you usually have to step in because that person can't, that bubble's so big, they can't reach it and turn the dial down. And I also wanted to know too, kids are not supposed to just sit at their desk and listen all day. It's appropriate to run around. It's appropriate to get a little excited. You're at a party. It's okay if your energy's a little bit bigger. That's what you're doing. You're all dancing around. And I'm hoping with the emotion piece, because right now we are like, your energy's here. This is the emotion you're having. And I have a lot of kids where that really bugs them and they will get turned right off. And they do not want to talk about their dysregulation because we've been teaching them associations that, oh, you're really angry, or you're really this, it's not really, we can have lots of emotions all at one time.
(35:52):
I can be really tired, let's say, coming to see you here, but I'm excited because here with you. So it's like what emotion out competes the other? So I think kids need to decide what emotions are happening inside of those. And that's a discussion to have because we don't want kids thinking in Zoe, the green one is the middle energy. We don't want kids thinking that, oh, this is it. This is the gold standard. I'm a good boy. I am a good girl. If I'm in this bubble. I'm like, no, no, no, no, we don't want that. So I'm hoping that this helps with even people that are doing other programs that it helps to really break down and explain a little bit more detail, especially as a kid's getting older, that you can have lots of emotions at one time and that emotion can get stronger or weaker and one can outcompete the other.
(36:45):
So that's something that's a little bit different.
Connie Maday (36:47):
So it's more then about regulating and learning how to be aware of your energy and learn how to regulate it in the different settings. So know when it would be appropriate to have a bigger energy. Can you give me an example? So if we're at the park, would it be appropriate to have a bigger energy versus
Michaela Gordon (37:10):
Well, it would depend who's at the park, right? What's going on? What are you doing at the park right there? Is there a little baby where you're running? Right? So it's so complicated. You want to make it simple for a child to understand, but you want to start with the basics. So it depends on who that child is. So the basics of this is the size, does the orange fit in the container, or do you need a bigger container?
(37:38):
Right. Okay. The orange didn't fit in the container. Probably a little too big, right? We're in the car and we're all filling squished. Can you please turn? Can you make your bubble smog and turn the dial down? Right? Right. So I usually teach kids that it's the size of the space they're in, and then the amount of people in the space and what are you doing? So if you were running around at recess and there was plenty of space and everyone's your age, right? There's no babies, and yay, we're running and everyone feels comfortable, great. But when you go back inside, it's time to start class. If you have a group of kids that are running around the classroom, there's just not that amount of space anymore. And it's not what everyone's doing, and it's not what's helpful to that particular task. Now, if someone's body needs something else, this might be a suggestion.
(38:31):
I've seen great classrooms where they have movement in the back. And then as you go forward, there's chairs. So if you need to stand, that's fine, but you just can't run around the room. There is not enough space and your energy's traveling and it's making people feel uncomfortable. And we have to be able to tell people that. I know that's so hard sometimes for kids, they feel really bad, but that's why we have to teach these skills to kids. And then for this is just a concept, some kids need more than that. They need to learn tools, they need other skills that they don't have. So there's other things that go beyond this, but
Connie Maday (39:11):
the concept of learning how to regulate together in a community setting, whatever that is, and having an awareness around how we're all unique and what we need in that space, I think that's a really big part of it.
Michaela Gordon (39:25):
So there's that part of parents too, or teachers stepping in. And there's that level of discernment too. We talk about regulation has a lot to do with overlapping, with discipline is like some people are discipline that child and really they have some sort of sensory need. So what I like to do, and I, there's an illustration page in the book that I really like, but it's discernment. It's the adult discerning what needs to happen. Sometimes an adult needs to step in and say, stop, put it down. That is needed sometimes because it's dangerous or whatever. And then sometimes kids need us to give them a hug. They just fell off their bike, they got hurt, they don't feel good. It's not time to say, stop crying. No, you just got hurt. You should hug them. And then there's other situations where kids need to learn to regulate, and we're handing them tools.
(40:22):
Here, you want to a crunchy snack. Hey, why you go jump on your trampoline. Let's color whatever it is. You are giving them the tool so they can learn to regulate themselves. So we have layers of you need to self-regulate. Sometimes you need to help with co-regulating. And then really, kids are learning how to do that, but we want to teach kids how to co-regulate together. And they can't do that if they don't have the words, the visuals or the tools. So that's the goal is to get those into the hands and for the adult to know how to teach that to them.
Connie Maday (40:55):
Well, and let's be honest, adults are learning how to self-regulate as well. And there's so much more awareness now around self-compassion and self, whatever. I'm thinking of the wrong word right now, but that self-care care, when you think about self-care, in my mind as an adult kind of equates to that self-regulating what do you need to do for yourself so that you can show up as your best self as an adult, which is so important, especially as a parent and an educator.
(41:23):
You want to make sure that you can be there for yourself so you can be there for others.
Michaela Gordon (41:28):
And we are shifting. We are absolutely shifting. And I think way that we're learning and the way we cooperate is changing every single day. And I think, again, we're in the era of what do I need? That's the error that we're in. And my suggestion is, what do I need? And am I also thinking about other people and can I balance that for the better of the good? I think that is the equation we need to keep coming back to over and over and over and over again, because we don't want a selfish society. We want an aware society because we're webbed together. We are literally webbed together. If you look at the electromagnetic fields, I mean, we're literally giving each other information. Just like the other woman you had on here about the fascia, the fascia whisper, she was talking about that we're all kind of in a big web, right?
Connie Maday (42:23):
Absolutely.
Michaela Gordon (42:24):
And we're either helping each other out or there's chaos. So yeah, the I versus
Connie Maday (42:32):
so amazing, the I versus we. Yes. Wow, Michaela. Well, we've covered a lot and I'm so grateful. I mean, you exemplify compassion, empathy, connecting, building relationships. I think it's one of the things that stands out to me the most. In fact, to build that strong foundation, you have to have great communication. It's a commitment from the whole community as we talked about. And I think it's just really exciting. You change lives.
Michaela Gordon (43:05):
Thank you.
Connie Maday (43:05):
And you're an inspiration. And I know it started at an early age for you and for those younger listeners, it's a really great reminder to stay true to who you are because who you are will always come back. You've got to just allow yourself to really tap into that and celebrate this. And I'm so appreciative.
(43:26):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Michaela Gordon (43:27):
Thank you, Connie. You're doing great things too, and you're amazing educator and mother and the world is lucky to have you, and I'm glad you're out there campaigning for people to be their best selves. They should be.
Connie Maday (43:41):
Thanks, Michaela. Why not? I know it's more fun that way too, to be honest.
Michaela Gordon (43:45):
Yeah, I think so.
Connie Maday (43:47):
Alright, well, I will make sure to link all of the information in the show notes where to purchase the book. Also, I'll link your website and I know some parents might be wondering, what are those indicators for a child that might benefit from occupational therapy? You have some really great indicators on your website. I'll make sure to link that information. And then again, listeners, check out Zoe and Her Amazing Energy bubble. It's a great resource for educators, parents, children, to work better to understand.
(44:19):
So excited. Congratulations about that, Michaela. Thank you,
Michaela Gordon (44:22):
thank you,
Connie Maday (44:23):
Thank you, thank you. And listeners, thank you for learning with me. I hope this episode allows you to step into relationships with more empathy and compassion, because as Michaela put it, it's really about us regulating together because we're all together in this together by learning to better understand and welcome each other's uniqueness, we can work to become more compassionate and a more inclusive society. Really. Yes, I appreciate you.
Michaela Gordon (44:53):
Let's do it.
Connie Maday (44:53):
Let's do it.
Michaela Gordon (44:54):
Let's say it and do it.
Connie Maday (44:56):
Let's say it and do it, and do it the do it.
Michaela Gordon (44:58):
Don't forget to do it.
Connie Maday (44:59):
Don't forget to do it. All right, well, to find out more about new exciting things happening at Spark to, empower, make sure to check out Sparktoempower.com. Remember, be kind, be bold, be you. Until next time, I'm Connie Maday. Make it a great day every day.
