Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Stepping outside your comfort zone can be something simple, like approaching someone new to say hello and introducing yourself, or perhaps volunteering for something that you might not usually do, or even taking the time to listen when you normally are the one doing the talking.
Stepping outside your comfort zone can be something simple, like approaching someone new to say hello and introducing yourself, or perhaps volunteering for something that you might not usually do, or even taking the time to listen when you normally are the one doing the talking. It can be different for everyone and doesn’t need to be extravagant to “step outside your comfort zone” like perhaps jumping off an airplane skydiving, or doing the “leap of faith” at a ropes course might be. (Of course, those are exciting examples for some too!)
For me, today, it was taking the leap to run into the freezing ocean, when my tendency as an adult has been to watch from the sidelines sipping my hot tea, while I prepare the hot chocolate and get the hot tub warmed up for the kids. Today I went for it. I didn’t hesitate, I ran and crashed myself into the ice-cold waves of the northern California coast. I like being comfortable in my skin, being warm is nice, and I stay bundled in my down jackets. In fact, just thinking of the northern California coast waters gives me goosebumps. But, I’ll admit conquering my fear of cold has been on my mind and my bucket list lately. So, today I stepped it up. Not only did I show myself that I have the gumption, but I showed my kids that I can do “out of the norm” things, I can step out of my comfort zone and push myself into situations that are not my favorite.
We all can do hard things!
So, in my full activewear (lulu pants and sweatshirt, shoes already off) - I sprinted and then leaped up over the oncoming crash into the splashing waves. Quickly drenched and laughing, the rush of excitement and accomplishment swept over me as did the tingling chill that comes from going into water that’s so cold you turn numb almost immediately. Yes! I did it!
Mel Robbins talks about the 5-second rule. That it takes 5 seconds before your brain starts to talk you out of a situation, that you have 5 seconds to make something happen before fear (or other emotions) takes over to hold you back. Of course, there is a lot more science to explain why this works, but this is the short version. If you don’t do the thing in the 5 seconds before your brain talks you out of it, you won’t, (or it will be that much harder.)
Today I didn’t think—I just did.
Of course, it’s important to be thoughtful, to make safe decisions, and to be measured—I’m not saying be irresponsible, but when it comes to doing something that you REALLY WANT, but it scares you, or you are holding yourself back from accomplishing because you don’t believe in yourself yet, here’s a little “life hack” as Mel puts it, to help you take that leap and accomplish your goals to get you through the groan zone that makes things feel hard.
Some decisions don’t need to go through the brain’s natural back and forth. Sometimes it’s okay to not have it all figured out, not have all the answers YET. Like now what do I do with fully wet clothes on the beach? Not a big deal.
When it comes to life, making sure every day is filled with gratitude and joy is at the top. Realizing that I am in charge of my life and how I live it—it’s up to me to make decisions. So I’m not letting myself hold me back from accomplishing my goals.
Also, when you show yourself you can step out of your comfort zone, it’s immediately contagious, and others will follow. Right after I went running in, I watched my three kids rip off shirts and dash after me, with my hubby right alongside. So, we have a new tradition: The Northern California version of the polar plunge. Followed by hot chocolate and a hot tub warm-up.
Apprehension, excitement, accomplishment.
If you take a moment and think about what you tend to do and then push yourself to try something new, do something that might seem a bit bold and maybe even frightening for you—that’s stepping outside your comfort zone.
Back in 1991, Judith Bardwick came up with the phrase ‘comfort zone’ in her work Danger in the Comfort Zone. Her work explained that the comfort zone is the place where you “operate in an anxiety—neutral condition” and it can often lead you to remain where you are, afraid to take risks and move forward to new heights or challenges. This teaching became pivotal, especially when teaching 6th graders, who are just beginning the journey into adolescence, where they are really learning to tap into themselves and their inner power.
Research shows that when you push yourself to get out of the zone of comfort (doing what you feel is comfortable and easy for you) and you push yourself into the groan zone (where you might feel frustrated, scared, nervous, excited, apprehensive) that’s when you grow. To get to real growth—you need to push yourself to try those things that allow you the learning and growing to get to something new.
The first step is paying attention to what is keeping you from doing what you want. Are you stuck in the groan zone (The place where you are feeling all the things in your brain that are making you stay stuck)? Because if that’s the case—try out Mel’s life hack and remember that your brain really has 5 seconds to decide how easy it’s going to be. Are you going to do it? Or are you going to talk your way out of doing it? Count: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1–go. It works. Love it when science helps me accomplish more out of life.. If you don’t believe me—try it!
I invite you to think:
What are those little things you’ve been wanting to change that you haven’t yet?
Getting out of bed earlier
Changing up your morning routine
Getting through that assignment faster so you can get out to the surf
Jumping into the ocean (I recommend that! — it ALWAYS feels good.)
Signing up to give that speech you’ve been nervous about
Wanting to introduce yourself to someone new
Pick one thing you are going to change. AND DO IT! Don’t let yourself stop YOU any longer. You are in charge of your brain. If your brain keeps talking you out of it, you are waiting too long. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1-go. You’ve got this!
